Stop The World I want to get off

Perplexed.  Confused.  Annoyed even. 

My cycle is all f’ed up.

So after surgery, I was taking estrogen for 4 weeks and progesterone the 3rd week for a 5 days.

Surgery was 5/28.  6/8 -One week later I had a very heavy period. Dr. L said to continue to take the pills.  Once I finished the progesterone he said I should get another period.  I finished the progesterone on 6/19….. my period came on 6/29.  

Saw Dr. L this week- he did an ultrasound and was very happy with what he saw….. he said my uterus looked normal.  Yay.

We were planning on trying on our own this month and then moving on to IUI for August.   

So I buy ovulation kits and start using them on day 10.  Today is day 12.  Today I woke up with my period. WTF.

Should I be worried??  I kinda am.

Anyone?

Ok so back on the bus….. and some more blogging time.

So I did not have a drink that night but I did have a valium.  When I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer my doc gave me a perscription and I have a few left- so I take them in emergencys….. and well I will say that this constituted as an emergency for sure!

So I end up going in the following week to meet with Dr. L.  He tells me that the septum was “massive”, and he really does not believe it was scar tissue- that it resected nicley and he really thinks this should solve the problem.  We made a plan to go back in for an ultrasound right after my next period so he can check how I look.  He said that the progesterone would bring on my period.   But of course, I defy all the odds and get my period the very next day.  A very heavy, very painful period.  I checked the calendar and it is right on schedule.  I call Dr. L and he was actually a little surprised cause I guess I wasnt supposed to get it with the estrogen therapy??? I dont know but he said the reason it was so heavy was because 1) the estrogen builds up the lining and 2) there is more room in my uterus!!  Gosh I hope that last point is true!!

So he said to keep taking the hormones as perscribed and call him on Day 1 of my next period to schedule an ultrasound the following week.   Yesterday was Day 1 so my appt is next wednesday.  I also have an endocrinologist appt for that same day later on in the afternoon (thyroid cancer followup)- so big day for me- say a prayer!!

We have decided to try on our own for one month and then after that cycle go for IUI with injectables for one month and then straight to IVF.  Anyone have any feelings on this plan?? I would like to hear.  Seriously.

Blog u later.

I don’t know where I’ve been – seriously.  I’ve had so much to say and basically no time to say it.  Work just gave me an air-card to “work” on my commute home and I am basically using it to post on my blog….hee hee.

So let me try and update on where I am -(no where mind shattering so dont get too excited).

I will start off with a funny story.  Mind you it was not funny at the time, but now that I look back …. quite hilarious.

It takes place 2 days after my “Ginger Ale” post.   Oh I was so sick that night and the next day and the day after that also.    If you can remember – I was away on business- still had the balloon catheter (gross) and had 3 meetings and an event with clients. 

So I power through the meetings- I honestly don’t know how I did it…. being nauseous is such a terrible thing for me- like one of my wort fears…… but I got though it and I think I just kept focusing on the fact that I had my appt with Dr. L the day I get home- acutally was going straight to the appt from the airport.

At one point during the trip I got a call from Dr. L’s office that they needed to move my appt up from 2:30 to 12:30.  Now I was flying in that morning and landing around 1130, so that would be really really cutting it close…. I was flying from Atlanta to NYC – and there are ALWAYS delays in Atlanta.  But they told me that Dr. L was absolutley not going to be there in the afternoon so I had to really try to get there at 12:30.  I vowed to do so- as I was not – I repeat not going one more frigging day with this balloon in me!  I had rented a car so my plan was to just get up super duper early and get on an earlier flight.

SO- I wake up real early and leave the hotel and drive to the airport.  Mind you- my stomach was so bad I hadnt had coffee that morning (actually for like a total of 10 days if you can believe it…..I am a crazy morning coffee drinker so this was real bad).   So now picture how tired I am- I’ve been sick for days, traveling, no coffee etc….  yes I am setting you up for quite a story.

So – I get to the airport with no problems, I get on an earlier flight that is now set to get in at 10:30 am…… gives me plenty of time to get to Dr. L’s office- with no worries.  I don’t have to check bags cause I have a small carry on.  I go through security, I get to the plane- I get a good seat!  I sit down- I realize I do not have my luggage…..  I panic….. I shake….. I realize I must have left it at security.  I am so friggin dazed and confused, I actually went through security – grabbed my shoes- and went on my merry way to the gate – WITHOUT MY LUGGAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, there were some tears I wont deny this….. I was booked on the next flight- MY ORIGINAL FLIGHT and sent back to security to find my bag.   SO I get my bag and Im on my way to the new gate.  Can you guess what happens next?  Yep.  Delayed.  1 hour.  

I call Dr. L’s office cause I realize that I’m basically going to a) be late or b) just make it in the nick of time.   To make matters worse, Dr. L’s assistant is on vacation so I’m talking to a bunch of people that don’t know me from a hole in the wall and couldnt care less if I have a balloon catheter.  I am transferred to several different people who all tell me that they can book me for an appt tomorrow.  I start sobbing.  Seriously people, I am pumped full of hormones and am so tired and to be frank- I was a stinking hot mess.

I call my hubby who honestly feels terrible and cannot do anything for me…. he tells me to tell them I will be there in time.  This way once I show up someone (even if its another doctor) will have to take it out.  So I decide I like this idea but now can’t get through to anyone….. it just rings !

So we board the plane and the pilot says we will get in by 11Am.  I now know I’m going to make it but still cant get in touch with anyone.  I eventually have to turn off my phone and have anxiety the entire plane ride.

SO- I end up getting there on time.  A nurse removes it and it was like absolutley no big deal, I don’t know why they didnt just suggest that in the first place…….  ANYWAY, I still feel like shit so I decide to take a cab to Port Authority- which to you non NY’ers is the bus station. 

By the way- just to prepare you this is just getting to the good part.

So I get a cab right away.  I get to the bus station- I think to myself- not too bad- I will get home around 3pm, take a shower, get in my pjs and get in bed and have hubby pamper me….. 

I pay the cab driver, I get out.  Just me .  No luggage.  NO FRIGGING LUGGAGE.  I left it in the trunk of the cab!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I have no reciept- I paid cash.  I begin to hyperventalate.  I call my husband.  I could hardly speak.  oh and by the way, my luggage had a projector and speakers that belonged to my company and also all of my medicine- all the hormones including my synthroid that I need cause I don’t have a thyroid!

Finally my husband says”calm down and pull over another cab and ask him what to do”- So I do this.  He tells me to call 311.  I call 311 and get transfered to about 3 different numbers at 3 different locations.  I finally get someone o the phone…. I tell her the story, this is kind of how the conversation went

Phone operator: “What can I help you withyou”

Sobbing crazy woman” “I lost my luggage in the trunk of a cab”

Phone Operator:  “Do you have the medallion number”

Me: “No”

Phone Operator:  “Reciept?”

Me: “No”

Phone operator: “Pay by credit card?”

Me: “No”

Phone operator:  uncontrollable laughter……

Me:  “hello?”

SO the weird part of the story is that the woman was actually very helpful.  I gave her all the info I had, like what time I was picked up – where- how much the fare was etc…..  she said to stay put and took my cell number down.

DO you know I actually got the bag back???  It took 2 hours, but she (I found out her name was Gloria)- tracked down my driver- the most impossible thing in NYC and sent him back.  I gave him 20 bucks – but wow- honestly it was a miracle.

SO – now the story is actually kind of funny, how on earth I lost my bag 2X in one day is beyond  me.  Seriously, if you knew me IRL- you would be so surprised…. I am usually a very put together gal!  I obviously didnt feel good !

So – another thing to mention is when the bag was removed- my nausea basically disappeared also….. interesting right?? Could be a coincidance??

Anyway- My stop is there so gotta go…. will write more later promise

I thought Ginger Ale would be a good title since its basically all I’ve been able to drink for the past 5 days. 

Not sure what happened but by Sunday the nausea set in and it never left…… 

So hate to complain but I’m actually traveling for work, with this balloon thingy coming out of me and strapped to my leg, nauseous 24 hours a day and well lets just say I had some bathroom issues yesterday as well.

God I hope this is the last of this mess and this surgery was finally worth it.  I see Dr. L tomorrow for the removal of the balloon.

Wish me luck.  And luck with this stomach!!!  I’m assuming its the antibiotic and the estrogen but who knows I guess it can be a bug.

Thanks Lisa for help with the blogroll!

So it has been just about 24 hours since my surgery.  I’m feeling ok- sore to say the least.  

We got to the hospital an hour early as required 12 noon for a 1pm surgery.  They were running behind so I actually didnt go in till around 330.  Since I did not eat since the night before I had a killer headache. 

Anyway- Dr. L talked to me and hubby and my mom before I went in and explained the whole procedure- including the balloon catheter- ugh.

I woke up from the surgery in severe pain… it was the catheter.  So much pressure and the worst cramps possible.  They gave me some pain meds via a shot in my leg and also though the IV which helped a little.  Dr. L had already left so they were trying to call him to see if they can send me home with some pain pills.  I would have died if they didnt.  I was not expecting that much pain and I started to cry.  The nurses were so nice though and Thank God sent me home with some Vicodin.  

The Balloon catheter is quite uncomfortable.  It has a bag that is strapped to my leg, and it was filled with blood- sorry I know TMI.  Anyway, when the nurse called to day she said I can dump it – and I actually cleaned it out so its not so bad now- but still quite uncomfortable.

Not looking forward to wearing this for an entire week- especially since I’m traveling.

When the vicodin wears off I can feel the cramping and it sucks.  I also have an antibiotic, estrogen (I start taking that today for 4 weeks ) and progesterone (which I start in 4 weeks).

Dr. L told my hubby that the procedure went perfect and the septum was resected with no problems whatsoever.  He said there is no easy way to tell if it was scar tissue, we are hoping it was septum and the balloon will prevent scaring.  He told us that we can probably begin IVF in July if we want.

Well thats where I am today.  I’m resting for the weekend.  I ate a bunch of saltines last night before bed and an english muffin this morning.  I just got my appetite back and my hubby made me a baked piece of chicken and some brown rice and I now feel really good. 

I’m gonna lay down now and watch some tv……..

Hey Everyone.

I’ve been a terrible blogger.   I would have blogged sooner but I feel like such a Debbie Downer.   In all seriousness- It has been  a rough couple of weeks.

1) Work.  So terribly stressful.  I leave for work at 620am and get home around 830pm.  I am utterly exhausted all the time and no time to blog-

2) My husbands closest friend passed away.  He was so young and it is devestating.  It was a accident – I’d rather not go into the details but its been very hard on both of us- but mostly my husband.  I’ve never seen him like this and it makes me so sad. 

and finally 3) Surgery is finally here…… nervous.  Met Dr. L yesterday morning and he told me he is putting a balloon catheter in my uterus and I have to wear this for a week…… this is totally freaking me out.  I have to travel next week for work (on a plane and away from home 2 nights).  I’m so scared about this- does anyone know anything about it that can share some insight as to what I can expect?

Wish me luck everyone- I promise to write on Friday when I’m relaxing in bed- with hubby waiting on me.

Oh and I somehow lost my blog roll???  anyone know how to fix that?

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mommy’s out there.

And happy future Mother’s day to most of us….. I am kind of a Mommy to my dogs no??   LOL.

Anyway, went to my SIL’s yesterday to celebrate Mother’s Day.  My own Mother did not want to travel to our house or fight the crowds at restaurants so we are doing mother’s day another day for her…. yes shes a little weird.

So off we went.  I have to admit- It was a tiny bit awkward for me.  My SIL’s pregnant, and her hubbys sister just had a baby- and eveyone is quite aware of our struggle and I just felt weird.  I’m sure no one noticed. But they were giving gifts all over the place and at some point I just went in the house and did the dishes. LOL.

Anyway- just kind of in limbo until I have the surgery on the 28th.  Feeling kind of down and feeling sorry for myself.  I’ll snap out of it, but for the first time- Mother’s Day was actually hard for me.

Ok back to the rat race.  Blog you later : )

I’ve been wanting to blog since my appt. with Dr. L on Thursday, but I’ve seriously been so busy.  Not an excuse I know but Friday was nuts.  Left for Florida to see my little brother graduate college, and now here on business for a few days.  I’m now sitting in a lovely hotel room (Ritz Carlton) and relaxing and now finally have a moment to reflect.

So HSG was pretty un-remarkable.  Although it didnt really hurt this time (last time it KILLED).  Anyway, we looked at the films right away and there was the septum.  It didnt look as pronounced that it did 2 years ago, but it definatley was still there.  I was not surprised at the result.  I was already expecting it.

So looks like I’m having the lap/hyst surgery on 5/28. 

I guess that is good news right?? 

Like I told hubby, at least we are getting answers.

On another note.  I’m relieved to be out of the office.  I’m traveling with a colleague and not my boss so it actually is pretty good.  Being in the office is so stressful, and being out on the street and really doing my job is so rewarding.  I wish I never had to go in to the office again.

Anway, sorry to be so boring….. I’m pretty tired so gonna catch up on my blog reading and hit the hay.  Promise not to be such a stranger.

Love me.

Thanks to Maybe Baby I have been awarded the Honsest Scrap Award.  Thanks Honey!!!!!

This is a good thing since I don’t have much to blog about latley.  Seriously I’ve started like 100 times and I sound like a broken record- Here is what would have summed up my most recent blog postings:

Hate job, exhausted, wish I could get pregnant.   Just watiting for my appt. with Dr. L on the 30th.  That’s it….. anyway check out my Honest Scrap, at least you will learn some less than valuable info about me……

 Rules:

* Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

 * Show the 7 winners’ names on your blog and leave a comment informing them that they have been awarded Honest Scrap.

 * List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

10 Honest Things About Me:

1)  I say a prayer everytime I hear an ambulance pass by.

2) I still call my parents “Mommy” and ” Daddy”  and didn’t think it was weird until my husband made such a big deal out of it.

3) I hate Gum.  You will never see me chewing it.

4) I am slightly obsessive compulsive and I find when I am completely out of control with something in my life, the OCD gets worse.

5) I cannot function without a cup of coffee in the morning…. seriously I cannot speak full sentences without it.

6) I was married once before my current husband…..right out of college to my HS sweetheart.  It was a very bad match and we divorced a year later.  I went on to get the marriage annulled by the Catholic Church.  The process was so emotionally hard for me that the next time around I decided to not marry in Church.

7) I never in a million years thought that I would be childless at 36.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and can get very emotional at times, this annoys some people and I never understand that.

9) I have a few tattoos that I swore I wouldnt regret and now I kinda do.

10) I feel very sad that I think my marriage has suffered from our infertility issues and am scared to death it may never get back to the way we were ….

I Pass This Award To:

1) Sue @ Fertility Tales

2) Lisa @ The Womb Chronicles

3) Emily the Hopeless

4) Pepper @ On to Plan B

I know I didnt tag 7 but its the best that I can do!~

Saw Dr L. yesterday.  He is awesome- so nice, personable, made Hubby feel comfortable- he was great.

He looked at all of my records and actually said that the last 2 IUI cycles were both great cycles.  My FSH is low and everything else was perfect.  We talked IUI (with injectable) and IVF and pregnancy rates etc… Hubby actually asked some pretty good questions……. then he did an ultrasound.

SO- he believes there is more septum left. 

I know.  WHAT?? 

He was trying to show us what he was looking at but I have no idea what Im looking at on that screen.  But thats what he thinks.  SO now I go for another HSG (joy) – but Dr. L want to do it himself.  He is going on vacation so we are scheduled for 4/30.   Then we decide whats next.  Most likley I am looking at another surgery. 

He said alot of doctors think they get it all and they just dont.  The only other thing it could be is scar tissue (from the surgery) which is not a good thing. BUT dr. L said lets take one step at a time.

So thats where I am .

In Limbo. 

Again.