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My ovaries September 29, 2009

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Are sore.  I’m still feeling some pain in my right side…… and it kind of radiates down my leg.  This is the exact feeling I get when I ovulate…. but I have never ever felt it on the right side… only the left…  which I believe is my dominant ovary.

SO- after the IUI on Sunday, hubby and I decided that we would have sex that night and the next night…. well neither happened…..hubby went out to watch football on Sunday and returned well lets just say he pretty much went right to sleep and last night he worked late and I was already sleeping when he got home….   someone tell me I did not ruin our chances??!!!  I’ve been obsessing over this – especially since I’m still feeling some pain.  I mean, I can’t possibly be still ovulating right?

Anyway, I do actually feel very positive about this cycle.  Not sure what changed but I never did feel this …..whats the word….. confident?  maybe not the right word…. but feeling more positive none the less.

SO- now I need to distract myself from this dreaded wait.  Busy at work today and traveling tomorrow.  This week will go by ok – its next week I’m nervous about….

Seeing Bruce Springsteen on the 8th.  It will be 12 days post IUI/Ovulation and last month I got my period by then….. Oh boy I will either be the designated driver or a passenger…. I’m seriously hoping for the first : )

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Feeling good September 27, 2009

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IUI this morning. 

Felt really really good about it.

Hubby’s sample was excellent apparently.

I have crazy ovulation cramps right now…. seriously I can feel it on my right side!  

Oh I am hopeful and have  good good feeling.

and hubby and I made up 🙂

IUI tomorrow September 26, 2009

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The follies are now 17 and 19.5 so I got my HCG shot this morning and IUI tomorrow.

My husband and I may have had the worst fight of our marriage last night and it is now continuing into today, so this IUI should really be fun.

I am acting a bit emotional and wondering if it has to do with the follistim…. I looked it up but it didnt seem to be one of the side effects.

GOD I am so stressed out.

Slow Progress September 25, 2009

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Just came back from ultrasound and blood.  2 follies measuring 15 and 15.5, progressing nicely…… but need a few more days is what the doc said.  I will get a call around noon for my next set of instructions….

Stay tuned.

 

Update:  I’m going back in tomorrow for ultrasound an blood…. I’m assuming we will be back again on Sunday for possible IUI

Cycle day 7 September 23, 2009

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I have 2 follicles measuring 11.5 and 13. 

I have no idea if this is good or not good.  I’ve been injecting 175ius for 6 days now. 

How fast do they grow daily? 

and I’m having a very bad hair day.

New Start September 19, 2009

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Feeling better.  More hopeful.  

The hormones that rush through your body when you get AF normally is enough in itself, but then to add the disappointment of not being pregnant is just overwhelming…that being said a few days later and I’m feeling a bit better.

Day 3 of cycle 2 (well 4 I guess if you count the 2 IUIs we did late 2008 and early 2009, but I had the septum then and prop couldnt get pregnant so I’m deciding not to count those)

Dr. L wants to try 175ius this time.  I’m going to take this for 3 nights and then go in for blood.  I was supposed to take for 4 nights but I’m traveling on Tues and wont be able to get to the office so we are going to do it the day before.  I think its better anyway since I’m increasing my dose and we dont know how I will respond yet.

Thats all my news.  We are heading to a wedding a few hours away today and I’m getting ready to actually go to the gym first (yay me)  I need to considering I used the not being pregnant excuse to eat literally whatever I wanted in consolation the last few days.  

Hubby just came back from the gym and now hes taking the dogs to the babysitter.  One of our dogs is peeing in the house overnight and I’m so frustrated as we have no idea what is going on with him.  I stayed behind to clean it up while Hubby went to work out and now its my turn.  Same dog is chewing the corners of our coffee table and we’ve had to muzzle him the last few days….Greyhound rescue group told us to do this…. said that they grew up with muzzles and it’s perfectly acceptable.  They are the basket kind so he can open his mouth and drink he just cant chew.  ANYWAY, no idea why hes being a problem lately…..

So- everyone- have a great weekend and I will be back soon.

This Cycle is Officially a Bust September 17, 2009

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Bummer.

Got my period this am.  I knew it, I called it.  I know my body.  And since I’ve never ever been pregnant, and have no idea what those symptoms feel like – I kinda know when I’m not feeling anything.

Even though I knew it, I still had a tiny glimmer of hope.  I’m sure we’ve all read the posts and heard people say- “I swore I was getting my period and It just never came”  – well I guess I hung on to those words for dear life.

I’m sad.  Sadder this cycle than I’ve been in a very very long time.  Losing hope really sucks.

I have  a friend who I’ve referenced in a post (quite a while back) who told me once maybe its Gods plan for me not to have a baby.  I havent talked to her since, and in not a mean malicious way, I mean we are kind of talk to eachother every couple of months kind of friends.  But, she has been calling me like crazy latley and I honestly dont know what to do .  I just cant face her right now.  Our last conversation has haunted me.  And especially now.  I want to send her an email, and tell her that she has hurt me and just not sure how to go about it.  Is it worth it?  Do I really need to spread my sadness to everyone?

We are going to a wedding this weekend….. my hubbys family, who I love dearly.  It just sucks that everyone knows we are trying to have a baby and now they just ignore it, like they use to ask us- how everything is going and we’d smile and say “working hard at it” and hubby would wink at me and everyone would laugh.  Its been so long now that everyone is uncomfortable with it and well, that makes me so uncomfortable!!

I will wallow today.  I will do my best to be ok tomorrow.  Just left a msg for Dr. L’s office as we were going to try IVF this month and now gonna see if we can do injectables again. 

Thanks for everyones support.  I need it.

cramps September 15, 2009

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9 days post iui.  Period cramps.  I know it is too early but I still peed on a stick.  Negative.  Not a surprise.  I’m predicting I will get my period Wed or Thurs.

Hubby wants to do the injectables 2 more cycles and then move on to IVF.  The only reason I agree, is I will be so disappointed if IVF doesnt work, and at least if we fail a few more times at IUI I guess I will feel like we tried more….. I dont know doesnt really make sense does it?  Anyone have any thoughts on this?

I hate waiting September 12, 2009

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6 days post IUI.  This sucks. The waiting I mean. 

I’ve had a ton of cramping and heaviness, but I know its too early to feel anything and too late for ovulation so have no idea what this could be.

Trying to stay positive but the negativity sneaks its way in and I dont know I guess I just cant imagine myself getting a positive test.

I am keeping the faith and hoping really really hoping for a miracle.

Hello long lost friends September 5, 2009

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I know I’ve been a crappy blogger.  I’m in a funk and well, sometimes I just dont feel like writing about it.  

Work is ok- very very busy but at least I have some activity- and I’m not crying as much -LOL (Who knew one day I would chalk that up as a positive)

Me and hubby went on a much needed caribbean vacation where I just laid on the beach and read.  Vacation was not without drama however as the hotel we booked (last min) was horrible and we ended up switching.  Still not a refund on my credit card…. but thats another blog that I will save for you 🙂

Got my period the last day on the trip and had to go to Dr. L’s for 3 day blood work the day after we came home.  I’m in for an IUI with injectables this month.   Took 100IUs (Follistim) from day 3-7 – blood was drawn on day 3 (with ultrasound) and then again on day 7. Today is day 9.  Went in this am for blood and ultrasound.  I had 3 smallish follicles on the right all measuring 12 and under and on the left I had one 21 and 1 13.  They gave me the hcg shot and we go in tomorrow for IUI. I’m kind of dissapointed.  I feel like I responded better on clomid (at least I had 2 at 19) and was expecting at least more than that with the follistim.  I asked the nurse and she said its not the best results and Dr. L will take a look and decide what to do next as far as either upping the dose or going to IVF. thoughts anyone?

Im sad.  I hate when I get in this funk.  I’m moody.  Hubby and I are NOT being sweet to eachother and most of it is cause I’m so cranky.  I just feel kind of beat up.  EVERYONE is pregnant around me and I feel so helpless right now.

I guess wish me luck- I know it only takes one follicle but still- I mean WTF??