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It is official January 10, 2010

Posted by stoptheworldiwanttogetoff in Uncategorized.

I woke up this am with my first period of the year.  Cramps are really bad and I’m struggling to get out of bed.  I just let the dogs out back (instead of walking them).  It is also like 5 degrees out so not in a hurry to get dressed for that.

I guess I really knew I was not going to be pregnant this month.  We only had sex ONCE during my so called fertile time.  It is really funny to me though that I can still find a glimmer of hope each month, even after all this time.

My hubby is a die hard football fan and so went to his sisters house to watch the game last night with his entire family – they live 2 hours away.  I already had plans with my girlfriends.  One of my friends had a gold party.  It was pretty fun.  This jeweler comes over and everyone sells their old boyfriend jewelry (or other gold jewelry that you would never wear again) you’d be surprised how it adds up!  And the host gets 10% of what sells.  I only had 90 bucks worth – but some people were getting like 1000 dollars!!  Anyway the point of the story was that I was home alone last night since my husband stayed overnight at his sisters.  For the first time since we  owned our house I was scared.  I’m not sure why…. I kept hearing noises and I was just uneasy….. very light and bad sleep….and then I woke up with my period…

Oh well.  I guess the good news is that I am traveling so much during January for work and I thought that I’d get my period next week ( I ended up getting it on day 24 not day 27 as I had calculated) so where was I- oh yeah the good news….. I wont be away on a trip when I am ovulating as I originally thought……so we can try on our own before our IVF in Feb.

Either way we are def doing the IVF in Feb.  Unless there is a miracle before that….. and we all know that those miracles just don’t happen to me. God I hope something works soon.

Did I ever blog about my experience with a psychic back in December of 2006?  Well what she said has haunted me since then. We had gotten married in 2005 and on our year anniversary in 2006 we threw away the birth control….  I saw this psychic a few months after that.  I had hired her for a client event, and I got there early so I could go first before anyone arrived.  Anyway I was in that excited that we were trying stage…..obviously oblivious to what was to be our infertility reality.  I asked when I was going to get pregnant and she said very confidently 4 years.  I was like no way thats impossible – we are trying now, I am perfectly healthy etc.   and she said well you don’t have to believe me – but its 4 years.  And then she went on to say, and it’s not 4 years when you have a baby, its 4 years till you get pregnant.  She went on to say we’d have 2 girls – one right after each other and no problems with the pregnancy.  I was devestated.  AND have been thinking about this ever since.   Well 2010 is the 4 year mark of that date…… however it was December of 2006 when I met with her…. so technically December of 2010 is when I am supposed to be pregnant.   In a way, since I have thought of this pretty much every day through all of our issues…… I’m elated that 2010 is finally here as I always seemed like an eternity away.  HOWEVER, a part of me is, this is ridiculous!!!

Curious about you gals in blogland….. what are your thoughts on this??