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Quality December 6, 2011

Posted by stoptheworldiwanttogetoff in Uncategorized.
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Spoke with the doctor. 

The time I got pregnant with IVF we had 2 blastocysts to transfer.  One was textbook perfect.  He believes that is the one that implanted.

Last IVF I only had mourlas to transfer…. not so good.

This time I did have 2 blastocysts, but apparently they were not the best looking…. whatever that means….  So we may be looking a quality issue.

He said we should try once more.  He wants to do microdose lupron this time. 

I feel a little sick.

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Hanging in December 4, 2011

Posted by stoptheworldiwanttogetoff in Uncategorized.
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So the reality is setting in. I’m actually doing ok… Better than last time. It helps that we are occupied with this trip and I’m spending a great amount of quality time with my baby girl… She has been the most well behaved little nugget on this trip and well it was kind of a good message to me that I can be a tiny bit upset about the failure of this cycle BUT I cannot let it hinder the joy I have for my miracle that I have in my life. I’ve decided to spend the next few months getting healthy and in shape (a part of my life I’ve been really neglecting) and maybe try again in Feb. My husband said, “in the meantime let’s try on our own”…. I guess miracles do happen right?

Outlook not so good December 2, 2011

Posted by stoptheworldiwanttogetoff in Uncategorized.
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I use to hate getting that message on the magic 8 ball when I was a kid. It’s my reality now though. Here in florida I tested this am. negative. I am really surprised and frankly I feel pretty beaten up. I can’t take the beta till Monday and I really wanna stop the progesterone but my husband won’t let me as he wants to wait till it’s confirmed by blood.
Sad. Starting to feel helpless.

compulsive behavior December 1, 2011

Posted by stoptheworldiwanttogetoff in Uncategorized.
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I needed to pee on a stick tonight.  OCD and compulsive behavior are the culprits.   It was negative.  Is it too soon?  Am I holding out hope for no reason? It is 6 days post transfer…….. feeling bewildered.