Stop The World I want to get off

When donor eggs fail September 30, 2014

Blogosphere….. It has been a long while. I now have an almost 4 year old from our very first IVF back in 2010.

I have been on a painful 3 year journey of trying to give my daughter a sibling. Please dont judge me… I’ve had many people say how lucky we are to have one. I know this . I know she is our miracle.   But everything deep down in my inner soul tells me that we need to add to our family.

We started IVF again when our baby was only 9 months old. 3 failed IVFs at NYU with very poor egg quality and one positive IVF in the fall of 2012 that resulted in a miscarriage. DNC results showed chromosome abnormality.  I wasnt thrilled with how NYU handled the emotional part of the attemped failures and my miscarriage. I realize it’s not part of their job but I switched doctors.

Fast forward to 2013-14 at RMA of NJ. Decided to try IVF again, plan on 2 retrievals and banking embryos and doing pgd prior to transfer.  2 cancelled IVFs due to poor response. 3 rd IVF made 7 embryos but none made it to day 5.

Moving on to donor egg. 6 eggs/ 3 nearly perfect blasts.

1st attempt failed in fresh transfer. FET failed . 1 embryo left and feeling so defeated.

is it not enough I have to mourn the loss of my own eggs but not after spending basically every penny we have on donor eggs I have to mourn the loss again.

My doctor is wonderful. He seems as upset as we are. And completley baffled. He is presenting my case to the practice to see if anyone has any thoughts on next steps. Night and day from my experience at NYU.

I know I havent blogged in some time, but I need support from the very people who understand.

Xoxo